Overwhelmed

They don't tell you in the interview that your assignments start the minute you send in your deposit check! I attended the Career search Jump Start program that Georgetown career development office so graciously designed to get a head start on the resume building and career search for incoming 1st years. The program is required and if you cannot attend in person (they travel to several cities in the U.S.) then you must complete it on line. I am glad I was able to attend in person. I found that I am not the only one completely confused about everything that needs to be completed prior to stepping foot on campus. Not to mention totally overwhelmed. The two ladies from the career office were very nice an extremely helpful. But when one of them said "it's great to get this all started now, this summer, since you have the time" I cried a little inside.

Time? What time? I still have an entire house to pack up and move out of by June 30th. I have to dig myself out of this pile of crap on my desk at work and wrap up everything before my last day on July 6th. I have yet to plan a single moment of my trip to Costa Rica which I leave for on July 12th. And as of June 30th I am pretty much homeless in my hometown not to mention what the hell I'm doing about housing in D.C.??? Time??? Seriously? I have time? Where is it because I can't seem to find it?

I return from Costa Rica on July 22nd and have a week to get myself together before spending another week driving cross country to arrive homeless in D.C. by August 5th. But no worries because I'll have plenty of time to do statistics and accounting on line courses then read and prepare the first 4 chapters of my accounting text book. NO worries!!!! Plenty of TIME!

Why exactly did I want to go back to school????

Exhaustion

Is it just me or is this process exhausting? I have been tired for the past 6 months! Seriously! Work has been so hectic and I have spent every waking moment researching scholarships and housing in D.C. The good news is that I think I found a place to live. A girl who has a 2 bed 1 bath apartment in Georgetown/Glover park area, according to Google maps, it is 1.9 miles from the Car Barn which is where classes for Georgetown's MBA are held. Grocery stores are within walking distance and the most important part, she's a dog lover! She has a dog as well and there's a dog park in the apartment complex too. I was pretty relieved to talk to her and she sounded like a normal laid back professional. I just hope it works out. I'm still waiting on pictures of the apartment. I have a good feeling about it though so I'm staying positive.

Georgetown has already sent the first mandatory assignment. I have to attend a career planning event in San Francisco mid June. I'm excited to meet some of my G-Town classmates at the event! It should be interesting. Also they have all the info for those Pre-MBA camps. I can't decide if I am even gong to bother applying. I just have so little time between now and the start of classes I can't imagine having to apply to anything again, then fly out and spend a couple days and $$ I am trying to save for tuition. I just don't think I have it in me. We'll see if I get motivated...right now it's not looking like it.

In other news, I'm still in the process of selling my house. Contingencies are being removed tomorrow and then I have to give my tenants their 30 day notice to vacate the property. Things can still go wrong between now and the close of escrow but at least once they remove contingencies if something goes wrong I get to keep their deposit $$. As sad as I am to sell my triplex, I do hope everything goes as planned.

I had a BBQ on Monday and had a bunch of friends over. I'm having all my family over this coming Sunday for a BBQ. Then it's time to pack up. I'm exhausted just thinking about that...Maybe I'm getting old? Maybe I need to get some sleep. It's 8:45pm and I think I'm going to go to bed...Good night bloggers!

Sold!

There was an offer made and an offer accepted. Lots can go wrong between now and the close of escrow though so I'm not counting on anything until I have the money in my bank account! It's an exciting and sad time. Excited that my house sold so quickly, sad that my house sold so quickly. Excited to move to D.C., sad to leave California. Excited to meet all my new classmates, sad to leave all my friends and family. It's a lot of up and down these days.

Georgetown has done a fantastic job since I've been admitted and has had several current and graduating students contact me to answer questions and congratulate me. It's been very nice. Searching for housing hasn't been as nice. It's so hard to look on craigslist without being familiar with neighborhoods. I'm going to give myself until June just browsing rental listings and then I'll start the serious search.

Meanwhile my calendar is filling up quickly. I have every weekend booked between now and August 1st! It's insane. I have to learn to be more productive during the week since my weekends are taken up with social events. I still have to pack my house up, decide if I'm going to store or sell my furniture...or ship it all out to my apartment in D.C.? But will I be sharing an already furnished home or will I be furnishing my own studio apartment? Decisions decisions...I have to focus on one thing at a time. Right now I'm focusing on packing up my house and spending time with the BF, friends and familia...

Moving on...

The celebrating has ended and it's time to move on to the preparing. I spent half the day on Sunday making my house sparkle because it was being shown to prospective buyers. It makes me sad that it took me almost 4 years to get my house to the point it is now...every piece of furniture the perfect piece found randomly at a store or handed down from my grandparents, every painting from one of my travels, every picture placed purposely in my hallway to highlight friendships, family and accomplishments....everything has it's place and purpose. And if I do say so myself...my house is so damn nice! (I love interior design, and would have totally gone in to it if I didn't have this whole civic mindedness crap stuck in my head ;-) The people who viewed my home loved it and want to make an offer...now I wait...again. No anxiety this time though. Just a little excitement and a little sadness. I don't think anyone can understand how much, literal, blood sweat and tears went into my house. And I don't think any new owner will appreciate it like I do.

But it's time to move on. The last time I had a roommate was 5 years ago. I am incredibly nervous about living with someone again in D.C. But 2 years...not even, more like 18 months, will come and go so quickly and my life will be a whirlwind of activities and studies. I'm sure it will be fine. I'm hoping anyway.

I also can't decide if I should drive cross country to have my car in D.C. or if I should fly and try life without a car for a while? Which, by the way I would LOVE to do. As much as I love California...public transportation here SUCKS! But then I also have to deal with transporting Rico, my dog. Originally my BF and I thought we'd take 2-1/2 weeks to drive cross country and do a lot of backpacking and hiking in all the national parks we'd pass but we can't go into parks with Rico. So we decided on Costa Rica instead. Leave Rico at home with his dog sitter (my mom or my ex-bf, long story, don't ask). Then I'd drive cross country with my mom in 3 or 4 days. I don't know what to do? I'll figure it out though.

Not much news from GTown these days. I just sent in my deposit check on Saturday so it's official. Started filling out my financial aid papers yesterday. Should finish with those tonight. Then I need to start looking for scholarships. Loans suck...I know this because I am still paying them off from my undergrad. Blech.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today reminds me of the birthday I had right before I left for Chile. I think it's going to be one of those good birthdays :-). I have a plan for the future, I'm excited to be leaving and I have probably the cutest bf ever. He was outside my door this morning with flowers, breakfast (including my coffee which he hates!) and chocolate cake with birthday candles lit. It was quite cute. Tonight a bunch of friends are taking me to a cute little Thai restaurant and then we'll go for drinks afterwards. I said I didn't want to do anything for my birthday but one of my girlfriends refused to let it go since I won't be here for my next couple of birthdays. So dinner and drinks it is!

I have joined the Georgetown MBA admit Google group. There seems to be some pretty interesting people in my class. I'm so excited to meet all of them. And, there seems to be a few people with dogs so hopefully we can trade off with dog sitting when out of town, etc. OK, I realize I sound obsessed with my dog, but look at him in that picture, isn't he the cutest thing ever!? And sadly, I am a bad owner and he is totally dependent on me and has anxiety when I'm not around and in a new place. He still doesn't even like to stay over at my boyfriend's house yet. So I'm pretty worried. But I'm sure it'll be fine.

Speaking of the bf, he finally asked the inevitable question that I so wanted to avoid until August. I am not all that great at communicating especially when it comes to relationship talk or any kind of emotion. And he, well...let's just say the boy can talk! Anyway, he asked me what is going to happen with us when I leave. I sugarcoated my response and he was a little more blunt about it. I said I didn't think we were at a point in our relationship where I felt comfortable with him coming to D.C. with me and that I don't know how I feel about long distance relationships. But I also said that we have 2 or 3 months to go before I leave so why did we have to decide right now? Who knows what 2 or 3 months will bring? When I asked what he thought he basically said the same thing but not so nice a way...I think maybe he was a little offended at what I had said? Who knows? But I am just going to enjoy the next few months with him and then deal with it when the time comes. That may not be the healthiest way to deal but it's my way.

So many questions!???

My weekend was full of margaritas and celebrating! I was bombarded with questions from family and friends after telling them all the good news. I couldn't answer a single question. So now I anxiously wait for the admittance packet that should be coming in the mail any day now. (Funny how I thought the anxiety would be gone once I got an admit, silly me!) I don't even know when I start classes!? When should I move out there? How will I find housing with my 85 pound dog!? Will I have to buy my dog sweaters and booties?! He is a very spoiled dog! He does not do well in the cold! Do I move with furniture, dishes, my bed, etc? Or do I put it all in storage until I come back to California? Will I really come back to California? What if I like it out there? So many unknowns still! But at least these unknowns are fun to talk about! I'm still so excited...and I have the awkward limp and bruised knee to show it ;-)

Thank you everyone for all those comments on my last post. I felt very special :-P

I'm in! I'm in!!

Accepted to Georgetown today with a scholarship, and a significant one! I was so excited when I checked my email this morning I started jumping up and down in my socks on my hardwood floor and I slipped and cracked my knee on my floor! I'm so happy I don't feel the pain but tomorrow it's gonna be black and blue!!! I'm moving to DC baby!! And tonight I'm having some margaritas! Woohoo!

Is it too little too late?

I know I shouldn't do it, but I've been reading the B-week forum. The thread on G-town worries me. Some people have already been accepted from the waitlist weeks ago and recently someone was denied from the waitlist with a letter saying the upcoming class was full?! I haven't received anything yet. I don't know what to read in to that, if anything. The anxiety is starting to creep up on me again...

Back to waiting

The euphoria of my 7xx GMAT score has now come and gone. I'm back to the waiting. And of course doubting myself. Thinking I could have done even better on the GMAT. I received a higher score in the quantitative than I did in the verbal, as expected, but strangely my percentile in the Quant was a lot lower than my percentile in the verbal! I'm an engineer for goodness sake! How could that happen? I feel like my career change is kind of turning the analytical side of my brain to mush. I cant wait to take some quantitative courses. I love math. Anyway, the waiting now isn't as painful as it was pre-7xx GMAT but still...it'd be nice to know. I already received my official score report so I am sure G-Town has received it as well. Hopefully I hear back from them soon.

In the meantime I'll be concentrating on getting back to marathon running shape and selling my house. I picked a bad time to sell my house. The market is not doing so great. Lucky for me I bought it in 2002 when the market was doing so great either. I'd really like to just keep my triplex and kick out my problem tenant but it gets complicated and it's so hard to know who will be a good tenant and who is going to be a pain in the a$$. Anyway, I'm in no rush so if I don't get an offer for a while, I'm alright with that.

Congrats to all of you BoB winners and runners up! Enjoy the subscriptions and the iPods if you were so fortunate!

Welcome me to the 700 club!

I left the GMAT test center after seeing my well above 700 test score and called my boyfriend to tell him that his girlfriend wasn't a moron after all and in fact she was indeed a genius ;-) He then responded with the exact same comment my mother said to me just moments before, "well since you did so well maybe you should just wait until next year to reapply to Stanford." (We haven't really discussed what's going to happen if I move to Washington D.C. for G-Town...My priority right now is my education...I think his priorities involve us a little more, this could get difficult :-( But I digress...I am set on G-Town!! So here is my theory...

G-Town put me on the waitlist with a really really crappy GMAT score (We're talking low 600s) so that means they must have liked me otherwise they wouldn't have even considered me. So now with my mid 700 test score they are for sure going to take me off their waitlist, don't you think? Rumor has it that they are trying to make their way up the rankings and they need their averages to increase so with my new score they totally get that! Either way, if I have to reapply next year (keep your fingers crossed that I won't have to please!) at least I won't have the stress of the GMAT. I have the top 10 b-school score!

I cannot tell you (although I'm positive most of you know already) how fantastic it felt to walk out of that room knowing the GMAT was behind me forever! It is amazing what relaxing and not stressing can do for your score. Serioulsy I think my horrible previous scrore was 100% due to anxiety and stress. This time I went in very calm thinking that there was not much else I could do at this point and it totally worked (that and I think the Peanut M&M's I snacked on during my breaks may have helped as well ;-) I am considering holding a bonfire to burn all of my GMAT materials...unfortunately, I am too environmentally minded and will have to recycle my old notebooks and study guides.

I had a great weekend after my exam Friday afternoon. I made my BF take me out to a very nice celebratory dinner, then we spent the day Saturday in Napa doing a little wine tasting before going to a friend's B-day party. And today we took the dog's to the park to tire them out with some fetch and then tired ourselves out with a little tennis. And I just made dinner and baked brownies. It is an amazing feeling not having any applications or bad GMAT scores hanging over my had. It is a FANTASTIC feeling!

So now all I do is wait. But now I wait with an optimistic mind and sunny days ahead. Cheers to all!

Decisions Decisions Decisions

And I'm not talking about B-school. Yesterday the Supreme Court upheld the first EVER abortion ban. They have taken the decision making away from doctors and pregnant woman and given it to politicians. Although the procedure they banned is used in relatively few abortions, it is sometimes the safest way to terminate a pregnancy for a women having severe complications. The health and autonomy of women has been endangered. This ruling will have far reaching implications that I don't think many people fully understand. Yesterday my office was abuzz with media interviews, press releases, phone conferences, etc. I was at the office at 7am and didn't leave until 8pm.

But maybe this is what I needed for motivation? When I got home I deleted the essay that I have been working on for the past two and a half weeks to submit to Georgetown's waitlist administrator and started all over. The single page essay was impassioned and solid and I hope that G-town will seriously consider allowing me to enroll. The SCOTUS decision reinvigorated my desire to go to G-Town, I want to be in the center of it all. I want their core general management education and their public policy expertise and their well connected D.C. network. I need to get off this waitlist and start at G-Town in the fall.

On the same note, my co-worker/manager wrote a second letter of rec for me and just submitted it to the waitlist administrator. And tomorrow I retake the GMAT. After tomorrow, there is nothing more I can do to try to convince adcom to let me in. Hopefully that will all be enough.

It's an Honor Just to be Nominated!

They Like Me! They Really Really Like me! (Just in case you didn't get it, that was a Sally Fields reference to the Academy Awards ;-)

I am still trying to figure out why I have the good fortune to be a clearadmit BoB nominee. Nonetheless, I appreciate the nod!

I have come down from my over the top stressed out week and am now being quite zen about the whole pain in the booty tenant and the waitlist status. I am pretty confident that whatever happens I will make it work. In the meantime I have made my house devoid of all personality to help sell it quickly (removed all my personal pictures, etc) and I have spent some time doing some practice GMAT questions. As I said before, remaining calm is key. If I don't make this GMAT out to be life and death for my b-school dreams, I tend to remain calm and do much better on the practice questions. Hopefully my new zen attitude will help me to do as well as I know I can do on the GMAT.

I also need to nudge my other supervisor on that letter of rec again. I think she sort of forgot with big holiday weekend and all (she just had 350 people at her house for Easter! Can you imagine!??!!). And then my little one page essay will be done by the end of this coming weekend. I will submit the essay and the letter of rec by Monday and then I'll have my GMAT done by April 20th. I still think I will end up at G-Town, let's just hope G-Town agrees ;-)

Remaining calm is key

Timing is everything. Why would my stupid tenant who has lived nicely in one of my rental units for nearly 4 years all of the sudden now, decide to turn into the wicked witch of the west?? Now, when I am so busy at work and every spare moment I have, I am trying to prepare to retake my GMAT and/or write a new one page goals essay to get off the damn G-Town waitlist? Why now?? Does she want to make me have a nervous breakdown? I have done nothing but be the ideal landlord. The second she tells me there is a problem, I fix it. I have NEVER, seriously, NEVER raised the rent on her in nearly 4 years! And now this stupid witch is giving me an ultimatum? I want to poke her eyes out. I am selling. The hassle isn't worth it anymore. I am just praying that it sells quickly and thanking my lucky stars that my very best friend is the greatest realtor ever and will take care of every last detail for me so I can focus on my waitlist status. Plus he's doing it for free ;-)

But I digress, this is a blog about an MBA. Let's discuss how I am preparing to retake the GMAT. Last night I took the official practice exam and scored over a 700. This is without studying or doing anything regarding the GMAT since November. So I think as long as I remain calm and confident and spend a little more time practicing I should do just fine. What I find slightly annoying about all of this is that if I would have just dealt with the GMAT earlier I probably wouldn't be dealing with a waitlist right. I'd most likely be choosing between a few schools instead of trying to get off the waitlist of one. C'est la vie. It' s my own fault, I have no one to blame but myself.

Thank you everyone who has commented on my blog and been so supportive of my journey to B-school. It's so great knowing there are so many others out there going through the same thing I am! Congrats to all of those who were accepted already and luck to those who are still waiting!

Cheers!

well m@, since you asked...

Yes I did hear back from Georgetown. They waitlisted me. The email came on March 30th in the late afternoon despite their promise of a March 29th decision. I stared at the email for about 15 minutes before deciding how to react. I am going to take it as a positive thing. I am pretty confident that the weakest link in my application is my GMAT score and I know that I can easily increase the score by 50 points, minimum (it was a score from my first time, the second time I panicked and had the worst allergy attack ever so I canceled my scores...therefore this third time really shouldn't be a problem. I know I should have taken it earlier but I just hate the fact that my future was going to be decided by a $250 test that does nothing but test my ability to remain calm under extreme anxiety, I was trying to prove a point...apparently they didn't like my point).

Anyway, G-Town gives very specific suggestions on what to do to get off the waitlist so I will do every single one of them. I report to two supervisors and in my original application I just had one write me a letter of rec, I will have the other one write me a letter of rec now too. I will also write a one page essay making clearer my goals. And then the GMAT. I am not so sure about enrolling in an entry level business course...my undergraduate GPA wasn't super high but all of my engineering and math courses were pretty much A's so I don't think taking another course is going to get me anything.

So that is my plan. Maybe I am being a little cocky but I am pretty confident that if everything goes as planned I'll be able to get myself off the waitlist.

However, there is one little hiccup in my plan. I have some serious stressful situations going on that have to be dealt with immediately...that sort of cuts in on my study/writing time. All I can say is that owning rental property is not all that it's cracked up to be! Nightmare tenants can be SERIOUS nightmares! My next investment is going to be in the stock market...real estate is a pain in the a$$!!!!

Ross has no idea what they are missing!

I received my ding from Ross last week. It was completely expected since I never received an interview. That was the first time through this entire process that I didn't even get butterflies in my stomach when I saw the email. I knew what it said. And frankly, I didn't really care all that much. I did like Ross a lot but I didn't turn in the best application and plus according to some folks on the devil's website, Round 2 alone had something like 2500 applications or some absurd number. With a half ass application there was no way I could stand out in that crowd. C'est la vie.

I still really want Georgetown. And I still wait...there is a reason for the continued waiting but I don't want to share here just in case the Adcom does read blogs. I think I'd give myself away. I'll just say there was some frustrating circumstances that were just brought to my attention recently. They have all been dealt with and I should receive a decision any day now. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

In other news I have been trying to prepare myself for dings across the board. And there is one very significant benefit to not being admitted right now. My very best friend and old roommate from Santiago is moving here for a year with his wife and baby in July! I am so excited for them to be in the same country! And they are definitely depending on me to help them adjust to life here. So if I don't move to DC for school I'll be here to take advantage of their year here. I can't wait to see them! I haven't seen them in over a year! So that is the only benefit and in fact a huge benefit, to being denied everywhere this year. But of course...I'd still MUCH prefer acceptance! Mis amigos entenderan!

Springtime in California

It's been over 80 degrees F the past three days. I love California. Remind me again why I was so desperate to leave California for Washington D.C.? I can't remember at the moment, I'm too busy shielding my eyes from the sun. Oh yes, it may have something to do with some sort of business school situation that I can't seem to remember??

I'm trying to fool myself into pretending that I'm not thinking about my decisions every second of the day...I haven't quite succeeded though.

Still waiting from all three of my remaining schools. I imagine I will be getting my rejection email from UMich tomorrow. I have no clue about Anderson or Georgetown, I did the voluntary interview at both of those schools. Therefore, since I submitted my application there has been no indication about my progress with those schools. C'est la vie.

Even though I am boasting about the lovely weather we have here in the good old Bay Area of California, I am dieing of seasonal allergies. Sunday was probably the worst allergy attack I've ever had in my life. I spent most of the day curled up in the fetal position in bed crying because I hadn't yet started taking my Zyrtec and Flonase. After taking three Benadryl and about 4 Advil (allergies caused a sinus headache that I could have sworn was a tumor about to explode in my head) I finally fell asleep. Monday morning I called my doctor to get prescriptions for relief. At this point I could easily step on my soap box and discuss the huge mess we call healthcare in California and why we desperately need healthcare reform (in particular SB 840, introduced by Sheila Kuehl) but I won't. Instead I will say how Zyrtec doesn't have a generic form yet and has just cost me $234. Flonase, thank goodness, has a generic form and cost me a mere $10. And before you suggest all the other drug options out there (Claritin, Allegra, Singulair, Alovert) don't bother, I've been there done that. The only thing that works for me is Zyrtec. And I refuse to spend another beautiful spring day curled up on my bed crying over my allergies. So instead I'll just cry about the cost of relieving the allergies. OK enough of that nonsense.

Another day closer to decisions! I'm off to the trails with my dog.

A cooler head prevails

Ok I've calmed down a bit. I was pretty upset and frustrated this morning but I'm over it now. Mistakes happen. What can you do?? So I continue to hope and wait...

In the meantime I am going to shake my booty on the dance floor all night! I haven't been salsa dancing in a LONG time. And I need an outlet...running doesn't seem to be doing the trick right now. So salsa it is!

Are you friggin' KIDDING me??!!!

So I get to work this morning and get the waitlist email I was sort of expecting from G-Town. Then I promptly went to the devil's website (b-week forum) and checked on the G-Town thread. There had been numerous posts since I last logged in. Some folks saying they had been dinged last week and received the waitlist email today and others who just received their acceptance packets in the mail said they just got the waitlist email?! And the last post I read said...

"Hey Everyone,WOW! So I just spoke to the Assistant Director and she said that a blanket email was sent to EVERYONE in their database. THIS IS A MISTAKE and do not take the email seriously. They are working on contacting everyone but of course that can take a while.Wow, I can still only say wow. I hope people don't freak out too much about this."

What the heck am I supposed to do now? Do I call them and ask? Do I wait for a follow up email that says "Oh just kidding, our bad, you've really been denied/accepted?" Really though, just what I needed more uncertainty and more waiting...

At least my aunt came out of surgery and the doctor was pleased with the result. My friend is a Physician's Assistant at the Stanford hospital so he checked up on her and gave us all the details the doctors tend to gloss over. He gave me the most details, the ones that my family probably couldn't take. Sometimes there is such a thing as too much information. Regardless, she is going to be fine and there is hope that she may be able to walk again! This is great news! So all in all...if G-Town is going to make me suffer through a little more anxiety and uncertainty...I suppose there are worse things that could happen.

UPDATE: Just got the follow up email from G-Town :

Due to a technical error in our Apply Yourself online application system, you may have erroneously received an e-mail waitlisting you for the program. This was an error, and we sincerely apologize. Your admission decision will be forthcoming shortly. We appreciate your understanding.

And we're back to square one...

Hospitals and Waiting

I spent about half of 2005 at Stanford hospital. Day in and day out waiting for word on the fate of my aunt. The others in the ICU waiting room became part of our family. They would come and go; sometimes with hope and sometimes with grief as we continued waiting. Different surgeries, different doctors, different prognoses...always uncertainty. Always praying we would be the the lucky ones, leaving the ICU waiting room with hope. Those months at Stanford hospital stripped my family to the bone. After my aunt's health was stable and the fear of losing her was no longer, I disappeared into my own world, avoiding my own emotions. It was too much to take, I needed to breathe again.

Finally, more than 2 years after the accident, most of us have healed. We smile, we laugh, we fight and we cry, but now, never with uncertainty or fear. But today we return to the waiting room. Today, we hope, is the final surgery, the final prognosis and the final healing. This time we go back to the waiting room confident, comfortable, and certain that this time she will be able to completely heal. And now that we've had some time to breathe, we are all strong enough to bare the few hours of waiting in that cold, dank hospital where the doctors and the patients seem to blur into one. Doctors, tired and overworked, look as though they could be the patients. Patients, far too familiar with the confines of the hospital, look as though they could diagnose illness.

I hope today is the last time I step foot in to that hospital. But as I remember those months of uncertainty and waiting I feel a little silly. I feel silly being so anxious and frustrated over the uncertainty of a b-school acceptance. It seems so trivial today. To allow a group of people, people just like me, to have so much power over my mental well being is ridiculous. Today I will not permit a group of people, judging me based solely on a couple of essays and some test scores, to make me doubt my self worth or value. I know, whether admitted or not, I will be what I want and accomplish my goals. So today I'm just going to appreciate how blessed my life is and how lucky I am to be surrounded by family and friends as I wait in that room.

B-week Forums, Anxiety, and Stress

Is it the stress and anxiety that is causing me to check the B-week forums regularly for some sign of something or is it the B-week forums that is causing the anxiety and stress? The chicken or the egg? Is there much more I could really say about how this waiting is KILLING me? I think I've said it all before. The silence from all my schools is driving me wacky.

Yesterday I had such a crappy day and it was gloomy outside and that didn't help anything. At least I was able to take out some of my frustration on the trail. I took almost a two hour lunch to do some sprints and then finished up with a quick 5 mile run. I felt pretty good afterwards. But that running high was short lived when I came back to work and found an unpleasant email from a coworker. I won't get in to details but I just wasn't in the mood to deal with her nonsense and I almost turned into one of those emotional girls and started crying but instead I turned into one of those bitchy girls and took it out on my poor best friend who had to listen to me whine about everything and anything for a good 20 minutes via phone. I don't feel all that bad though because I'm pretty sure he just had his phone on speaker while he was working and just mumbled some agreeable noises every once in a while. Lucky for him that's all I wanted :-)

Today there is Friday and there is sun and I got some good sleep last night and I'm sore from my run yesterday (I love being sore, yes I realize I'm weird) so I'm feeling pretty good. But what would make me feel even better is a damn acceptance to somewhere! This weekend I will not log on to my computer and I will try my hardest to just enjoy the weekend and not stress.

My friend and I started an intro to yoga series on Sunday mornings. I am so not into the feel good stuff of centering yourself and all that nonsense. I like high energy workouts but maybe this breathing crap and stretching will help with all the stress and anxiety? Although I think I just need a few nights of salsa dancing to do that...now if I could only find the time!

Have a great weekend everyone!

I want Georgetown

This weekend I did a lot of reflection on what I want. And it surprised me that I really really want Georgetown. I was all talk early on about the big name schools. Not that Georgetown isn't a big name but it's not the typical name associated with a top 10 b-school. Anyway, I just kept thinking about the opportunities I would have living in D.C. to work in policy related non-profits. Plus every Georgetown student and alumni I spoke with while there was so impressive. And I think since the MBA program at Georgetown is relatively new, it'd be nice to be able to take part in shaping the program as it grows and matures. Plus the students I spoke to at Georgetown spoke so highly of the academics there. And I want more than just a networking group in b-school. I really really want to learn the fundamentals of managing a non-profit. I have a lot to learn and I want to have a high quality education in an environment that I feel comfortable as well as in an environment that will provide me with a lot of opportunities. So now I continue to wait...and hope.

As I wait for word on my fate I think it's nearly impossible to stop my mind from going down all possible "What if..." roads. Most frightening of which is the "What if I don't get in to Georgetown or any other school". What the heck am I going to do with myself? I know in the end something will workout. I always manage to make things work. But I don't want to have to make something work. I want to move out of the area, I want to be a student again, and I want change. Major change. I want this new career. Right now I still feel like an engineer trying to pass as a public affairs person. I want to be in this job, I feel like I'm pretending right now because I don't feel like I am contributing as much as I could be. Please just let me get in to school...I don't want to think about all the "What if..." options anymore!

OK I think this gloomy Monday morning is making my head go a little wacky. Maybe I should have slept in a little longer this morning...

TGIF! (non-MBA)

The most exciting part of my day today was looking on the clear admit blog and finally seeing my blog mentioned! I have felt so neglected by those folks at clear admit! I've been doing the MBA blog thing for almost a year now and FINALLY they decide to mention me in the FFF post. Really, it's the little things in life that make me so happy ;-)

In other good news my job just got extended until June. This is such a relief for me! Technically it was supposed to end next Friday. I was having such issues trying to decide what to do since it would be hard for me to accept another job elsewhere knowing I'd (hopefully) be leaving in the fall to start b-school. June is perfect timing too. By then I'll know if/and where I'll be going to school so that I can spend the following two months doing a little traveling. Plus I can get my unit rented out and workout all the kinks with a new tenant while living temporarily with mommy ;-) And by then my two other units leases will be up so I can extend them for another two years or find new tenants while I'm gone so I won't have to worry about it while I'm away.

Or if the school thing doesn't work out at least I'll know by the end of March and I'll have time to make a concerted effort to find that ideal permanent job, or maybe even discuss taking on the position here permanently if that's possible. So many options...but at least now I know I'll be able to pay my mortgage for the next few months ;-) Life is good and it's Friday! Woohoo!

Happy Hallmark Day!

I am not a fan of Valentine's Day, with or without a significant other I think it's...for lack of a better word...LAME! But I am not the most romantic person, nor am I the most emotionally available person so any holiday that I am required to tell people how I "feel" or buy some mushy card saying the "L" word is a nightmare for me. That being said, I have totally indulged in the sweets that come along with the lame holiday. My theory is if I eat the enormous chocolate chip cookie in the break room piecemeal...then it won't count as an enormous cookie! That's my theory and I'm sticking to it!

No word from any schools yet. I'm done submitting though and I am considering sitting for the GMAT again next week for good measure. Since I cancelled my scores on my last exam I thought I could use the boost from my god awful scores from my original exam that I took unprepared a while ago. I think Michigan and Georgetown wills till consider the scores if I update them within the next two weeks. UCLA, I'm not so sure about...they claim you have to take the exam prior to Jan. 31st. Anyway, Saturday I'm going too do a quick practice exam, if I do well enough, significantly higher than my current pathetic scores I'm just gonna spend the $250 and be done with it. I don't expect to hear much from the schools until decisions come down since I already voluntarily interviewed with UCLA and Georgetown months ago. UMich I don't think will consider me unless I boost that GMAT score...whatever.


I am so over this B-school thing right now. I am sick of the uncertainty in my life. I just want to know already and be done. Then I can spend the next few months playing and roaming around Central America or something of the sort...

But for now, I spent last weekend in the central coast wine country, visited Hearst Castle, and got to see the elephant seals nursing their babies on the beach nearby...they were adorable! Did some wine tasting too. It was nice to be away and not have an application hanging over my head for once! This weekend I'm going to the SAP Open finals...hoping the good players make it to the finals! Life is starting to seem a little more normal...now if I could get out of my post-marathon slump and get started on my new training program, life would be really good!

Anyway, to those people that enjoy the commercial holiday, Happy Valentine's Day! Hope your b-school dreams come true!

Georgetown

I was impressed and pleasantly surprised! Georgetown did such an amazing job with their all day Women in Business recruiting event! Everyone I met, alumni, current students, prospective students, Adcom, was so nice and the school was so welcoming! At first I was little concerned that I wouldn't last through the entire day long event (10am-5pm!) since we took the red eye out there and arrived in DC at 7am. But the day flew by!

They started out the day with a little organization fair. Most of the clubs and organizations in the business school had tables set up and we roamed around and spoke with different leaders of the clubs. I was able to learn a lot about the student run internship fund for students taking internships at non-profits and I spoke at length with the students running the NET Impact group that I'm interested in participating. I also spoke at length with a girl who is getting a dual degree MPP/MBA and wants to go into non-profit. It was great learning about the programs form someone actually in them.

I can't remember the exact order of things (remember I took a red eye...and didn't sleep a wink on the plane!) but we had an info session type presentation given my two current students. We had the dean (previously the dean of NYU Stern) speak to us. The director of career services and the director of student affairs also gave little presentations. The highlight for me was listening to a professor presentation. She actually gave us signed copies of her recently published book on globalization! I'm really excited to read it!

After a brief walk thru/tour of the campus (which seemed so small to me) we had a really nice catered lunch with a key note speaker, an alum that now works in the higher ups of Sprint/Nextel. All of these presentations were geared towards women and helping women succeed in business school and industry. They were all done very well too!

After lunch there was an all women alumni panel that we had a Q&A session with. They were really nice, very honest, and just so laid back but still articulate and intelligent. I really was super impressed by all of them. Then they had a little cocktail hour with everyone, current students, alum, adcom, etc.

The Cons: To tell you the truth there weren't many! I sort have an issue with attending a Jesuit school but I could easily get over that. The weather was COLD and I am such a wimp in the cold! The program is really new and doesn't have that "brand name MBA" thing that I tend to be snotty about...but again, something I can and will get over. The facilities are not that great (but they are breaking ground on a new building that is scheduled to be done by the spring semester of 2008)

The Pros: I loved DC (minus the cold). The political opportunities abound! A very good public policy program for me to consider. The people truly were amazing. I do think since they are trying to build the program and they don't have a name for themselves yet that they stress the academics and truly want to make you successful in order for them to climb up those ranking charts. If the new building is actually finished on time there's going to be great facilities in a perfect location!

Now it's just a matter of submitting the application and waiting...again!

In other news, I gave my first sit down television interview yesterday for work. I've done short news interviews that turn into 10 second blurbs on TV. And I've been interviewed by newspaper journalists before. But this interview was 30 minutes. I was incredibly nervous but I managed to hold myself together and I was pretty proud of the result! The program is going to be aired next week. It's just a local program but it was awesome to have a platform to talk about teen pregnancy and what we are doing to combat it and the services we offer at our clinics. It was pretty exciting for me...I never in a million years would have thought I, the dorky, technical, mechanical engineer, would be sitting in a suit on a program discussing teen pregnancy! It was exciting!

Officially Denied

So this process thus far has been quite a blow to my ego. I am a little arrogant I suppose. But up until now I don't think I've ever been denied something I've wanted? Looking back part of me thinks some of this was a little self destructive. Knowing how competitive Stanford and some of the other schools are, I may have purposely done a pretty crappy job on my applications thinking that I would then have a reason for being denied? I could blame it on my lack of effort throughout the process. I don't know. Anyway, I knew long ago that Stanford was a long shot regardless if I put in my best or worst effort. Just seems such a waste of money to be denied. C'est la vie.

In other news I leave tonight on the red eye to Washington D.C. for the event at Georgetown's B-school tomorrow. I hope I like it. My friend has made a list of tourist attractions that we will be seeing while we're there. I'm most excited about the White House and the Capital Building. Policy in motion! And I get to see it! I am a geek deep down inside.

I was surprised to see how many marathoners there are applying to business school! That's exciting! Hopefully I'll end up at a school with a few so I'll have some training partners! What's even more amazing is that I'm not even sore anymore. Seriously I was a little stiff for about 2 days and that's it! Which of course leads me to believe that I definitley did not run as hard and as fast as I could have. There's always Marathon #4!

Good luck to all those admits and all those still waiting and still applying!

Marathon #3

So in the midst of my application stress I decided I wanted to run another marathon. Eventually I plan on qualifying for the Boston marathon but I didn't train hard enough this time around for that. In fact I really didn't train much at all. But luckily it was a flat course and I've been feeling pretty good lately. I beat my last time by 15 minutes. So if I keep that up for my next marathon, which I think will be in San Diego, CA in June, then I should have no problem qualifying for Boston. But for now I have the pain of my knees, hips, and joints to keep my mind off the fact that Yale rejected me and Stanford is bound to do the same any day now. But how many of their b-school students can say they have run 26.2 miles on three different occassions! Damn, I thought maybe that would make me feel better, but alas it did nothing...sigh.

I am going to Washington DC to the Georgetown event to recruit women into their business school. I've never been to DC so I thought this would be a great excuse to go. I'm headed out on the red eye Thursday night and Friday will spend all day at Georgetown. Then Saturday and Sunday my friend, who is coming with me, and I will tour all the sites we possibly can squeeze in to 48 hours! I'm looking forward to it! And please let me like Georgetown because at this point, I fear it may be my only possible acceptance...

UCLA Submitted

I just submitted UCLA. Talk about last minute. I am awful at that! I just have such a hard time writing about myself intelligibly. I was at a friends house late last night while his mother helped me edit my essay to make it sound better. I absolutely hated writing about my family. I am not the greatest communicator when it comes to my personal life. At work I am great, I can make very clear my intentions and thoughts in the office but when it comes to any personal emotion or feeling I freeze up. Believe, this has been an issue with all of my boyfriends in the past. Anyway, it's done. Out of my hands now.

Yale released some decisions before X-Mas and has just said they will release more decisions this week. Wouldn't it be awesome to just get that phone call today. I am already imagining jumping up and down in my office just being happy to have the anxiety over with! Previously I thought I'd be a shoe in at Yale, but I'm not so confident anymore. They're applicant pool has doubled in size. At this point, I'll just be happy to be admitted anywhere. I just really want to know what I'll be doing with my life for the next two years, where I'll be, how I'll manage. I hate this uneasiness of not knowing. I am positive I am not the only one. Can we all just throw ourselves a little pity party (those of us who have not been lucky enough to hear word on our fates yet)?!

Good luck to everyone and I hope you all had an awesome time bringing in 2007!