Thursday, March 22, 2007

Ross has no idea what they are missing!

I received my ding from Ross last week. It was completely expected since I never received an interview. That was the first time through this entire process that I didn't even get butterflies in my stomach when I saw the email. I knew what it said. And frankly, I didn't really care all that much. I did like Ross a lot but I didn't turn in the best application and plus according to some folks on the devil's website, Round 2 alone had something like 2500 applications or some absurd number. With a half ass application there was no way I could stand out in that crowd. C'est la vie.

I still really want Georgetown. And I still wait...there is a reason for the continued waiting but I don't want to share here just in case the Adcom does read blogs. I think I'd give myself away. I'll just say there was some frustrating circumstances that were just brought to my attention recently. They have all been dealt with and I should receive a decision any day now. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

In other news I have been trying to prepare myself for dings across the board. And there is one very significant benefit to not being admitted right now. My very best friend and old roommate from Santiago is moving here for a year with his wife and baby in July! I am so excited for them to be in the same country! And they are definitely depending on me to help them adjust to life here. So if I don't move to DC for school I'll be here to take advantage of their year here. I can't wait to see them! I haven't seen them in over a year! So that is the only benefit and in fact a huge benefit, to being denied everywhere this year. But of course...I'd still MUCH prefer acceptance! Mis amigos entenderan!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Springtime in California

It's been over 80 degrees F the past three days. I love California. Remind me again why I was so desperate to leave California for Washington D.C.? I can't remember at the moment, I'm too busy shielding my eyes from the sun. Oh yes, it may have something to do with some sort of business school situation that I can't seem to remember??

I'm trying to fool myself into pretending that I'm not thinking about my decisions every second of the day...I haven't quite succeeded though.

Still waiting from all three of my remaining schools. I imagine I will be getting my rejection email from UMich tomorrow. I have no clue about Anderson or Georgetown, I did the voluntary interview at both of those schools. Therefore, since I submitted my application there has been no indication about my progress with those schools. C'est la vie.

Even though I am boasting about the lovely weather we have here in the good old Bay Area of California, I am dieing of seasonal allergies. Sunday was probably the worst allergy attack I've ever had in my life. I spent most of the day curled up in the fetal position in bed crying because I hadn't yet started taking my Zyrtec and Flonase. After taking three Benadryl and about 4 Advil (allergies caused a sinus headache that I could have sworn was a tumor about to explode in my head) I finally fell asleep. Monday morning I called my doctor to get prescriptions for relief. At this point I could easily step on my soap box and discuss the huge mess we call healthcare in California and why we desperately need healthcare reform (in particular SB 840, introduced by Sheila Kuehl) but I won't. Instead I will say how Zyrtec doesn't have a generic form yet and has just cost me $234. Flonase, thank goodness, has a generic form and cost me a mere $10. And before you suggest all the other drug options out there (Claritin, Allegra, Singulair, Alovert) don't bother, I've been there done that. The only thing that works for me is Zyrtec. And I refuse to spend another beautiful spring day curled up on my bed crying over my allergies. So instead I'll just cry about the cost of relieving the allergies. OK enough of that nonsense.

Another day closer to decisions! I'm off to the trails with my dog.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

A cooler head prevails

Ok I've calmed down a bit. I was pretty upset and frustrated this morning but I'm over it now. Mistakes happen. What can you do?? So I continue to hope and wait...

In the meantime I am going to shake my booty on the dance floor all night! I haven't been salsa dancing in a LONG time. And I need an outlet...running doesn't seem to be doing the trick right now. So salsa it is!

Are you friggin' KIDDING me??!!!

So I get to work this morning and get the waitlist email I was sort of expecting from G-Town. Then I promptly went to the devil's website (b-week forum) and checked on the G-Town thread. There had been numerous posts since I last logged in. Some folks saying they had been dinged last week and received the waitlist email today and others who just received their acceptance packets in the mail said they just got the waitlist email?! And the last post I read said...

"Hey Everyone,WOW! So I just spoke to the Assistant Director and she said that a blanket email was sent to EVERYONE in their database. THIS IS A MISTAKE and do not take the email seriously. They are working on contacting everyone but of course that can take a while.Wow, I can still only say wow. I hope people don't freak out too much about this."
What the heck am I supposed to do now? Do I call them and ask? Do I wait for a follow up email that says "Oh just kidding, our bad, you've really been denied/accepted?" Really though, just what I needed more uncertainty and more waiting...
At least my aunt came out of surgery and the doctor was pleased with the result. My friend is a Physician's Assistant at the Stanford hospital so he checked up on her and gave us all the details the doctors tend to gloss over. He gave me the most details, the ones that my family probably couldn't take. Sometimes there is such a thing as too much information. Regardless, she is going to be fine and there is hope that she may be able to walk again! This is great news! So all in all...if G-Town is going to make me suffer through a little more anxiety and uncertainty...I suppose there are worse things that could happen.
UPDATE: Just got the follow up email from G-Town :
Due to a technical error in our Apply Yourself online application system, you may have erroneously received an e-mail waitlisting you for the program. This was an error, and we sincerely apologize. Your admission decision will be forthcoming shortly. We appreciate your understanding.

And we're back to square one...

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Hospitals and Waiting

I spent about half of 2005 at Stanford hospital. Day in and day out waiting for word on the fate of my aunt. The others in the ICU waiting room became part of our family. They would come and go; sometimes with hope and sometimes with grief as we continued waiting. Different surgeries, different doctors, different prognoses...always uncertainty. Always praying we would be the the lucky ones, leaving the ICU waiting room with hope. Those months at Stanford hospital stripped my family to the bone. After my aunt's health was stable and the fear of losing her was no longer, I disappeared into my own world, avoiding my own emotions. It was too much to take, I needed to breathe again.

Finally, more than 2 years after the accident, most of us have healed. We smile, we laugh, we fight and we cry, but now, never with uncertainty or fear. But today we return to the waiting room. Today, we hope, is the final surgery, the final prognosis and the final healing. This time we go back to the waiting room confident, comfortable, and certain that this time she will be able to completely heal. And now that we've had some time to breathe, we are all strong enough to bare the few hours of waiting in that cold, dank hospital where the doctors and the patients seem to blur into one. Doctors, tired and overworked, look as though they could be the patients. Patients, far too familiar with the confines of the hospital, look as though they could diagnose illness.

I hope today is the last time I step foot in to that hospital. But as I remember those months of uncertainty and waiting I feel a little silly. I feel silly being so anxious and frustrated over the uncertainty of a b-school acceptance. It seems so trivial today. To allow a group of people, people just like me, to have so much power over my mental well being is ridiculous. Today I will not permit a group of people, judging me based solely on a couple of essays and some test scores, to make me doubt my self worth or value. I know, whether admitted or not, I will be what I want and accomplish my goals. So today I'm just going to appreciate how blessed my life is and how lucky I am to be surrounded by family and friends as I wait in that room.

Friday, March 02, 2007

B-week Forums, Anxiety, and Stress

Is it the stress and anxiety that is causing me to check the B-week forums regularly for some sign of something or is it the B-week forums that is causing the anxiety and stress? The chicken or the egg? Is there much more I could really say about how this waiting is KILLING me? I think I've said it all before. The silence from all my schools is driving me wacky.

Yesterday I had such a crappy day and it was gloomy outside and that didn't help anything. At least I was able to take out some of my frustration on the trail. I took almost a two hour lunch to do some sprints and then finished up with a quick 5 mile run. I felt pretty good afterwards. But that running high was short lived when I came back to work and found an unpleasant email from a coworker. I won't get in to details but I just wasn't in the mood to deal with her nonsense and I almost turned into one of those emotional girls and started crying but instead I turned into one of those bitchy girls and took it out on my poor best friend who had to listen to me whine about everything and anything for a good 20 minutes via phone. I don't feel all that bad though because I'm pretty sure he just had his phone on speaker while he was working and just mumbled some agreeable noises every once in a while. Lucky for him that's all I wanted :-)

Today there is Friday and there is sun and I got some good sleep last night and I'm sore from my run yesterday (I love being sore, yes I realize I'm weird) so I'm feeling pretty good. But what would make me feel even better is a damn acceptance to somewhere! This weekend I will not log on to my computer and I will try my hardest to just enjoy the weekend and not stress.

My friend and I started an intro to yoga series on Sunday mornings. I am so not into the feel good stuff of centering yourself and all that nonsense. I like high energy workouts but maybe this breathing crap and stretching will help with all the stress and anxiety? Although I think I just need a few nights of salsa dancing to do that...now if I could only find the time!

Have a great weekend everyone!